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Lent is a time of sacrifice for Jesus. As a Catholic, I believe in Jesus and the sacrifice he made for all. Part of our preparation for Easter is to use the 40 days of Lent as a period of self-denial. During Lent this year I will give up all sugar and think about how it effects me and my weight maintenance and loss.

I have been able to maintain my weight since the beginning of the year and drop a couple of pounds, but I have not been able to lose the weight I wanted to see how I feel at 210 pounds.  I was 225 pounds at the beginning of the year and weighed 223 this morning. This is not a bad weight for me but it is at the upper reaches of where I want to be. I denied myself sugar on the weight loss part of my journey, so I know I can lose 13 pounds if I eliminate sugar from my diet for at least Lent.

Giving up sugar really seems like such a small sacrifice when I think about what Jesus did for ME and all. As I start each day during Lent, I will make sure to start my day with HAW and use it to Repent for things I have not done so well in life and Pray that I will have the positive attitude and guidance to make the right choices each day. This daily reflection has helped me and will help me quickly shed negative/bad behavior and focus on the positive energy I need in my life.  It helps me to keep from building that large bag of negative 'stuff' I hung onto during all of my addictive behavior of years past.

Note to ME and YOU: Make those small necessary sacrifices to reap the rewards you seek in life!

TheFatGuy 

Yep, I am two, count'em, two years into my journey to health and fitness. At 54, almost 55 years of age, I am in the best shape of my life! This is not an exaggeration at all. Maybe you could say the 'new ME' is 2 years old today. I am cautiously thrilled at where I am now.

Why cautiously thrilled? Well, the thrilled part is easy. I would have never expected to be in the best shape of my life on this day, this year, at this time. I felt as bad as I ever had in my life in the years, months, and days before I had my 'epiphany'. I felt old, worn down, terribly unhealthy, and many other 'not so positive feelings'. Now I feel, well, I feel like Living, Loving, Losing, Laughing!

Living, Loving, Losing, Laughing! That is the tag line you see below Fat Guy Diary on my website. What do they mean to me now:

• LIVING means embracing life with all of its ups and downs. It means 'actively' participating in life, MY life. I am no longer watching helplessly as my life rolls down hill right before my eyes. I am engaged and involved in learning and growing as a person every day.
• LOVING means I love who I am and who I am becoming. I am happy and comfortable with ME. I love God, my wife, family, and dear friends and let them know it.
• LOSING means, obviously, losing weight. But, it means much more than that to me. LOSING means shedding the negative energy and thinking that will lead me back to my old habits. LOSING that baggage occurs on a daily basis as I embrace HAW each day and work to choose a positive attitude each morning and assess what I did well and not so well the day before. LOSING the bad stuff and building on the good stuff!
• LAUGHING means learning to laugh at ME. I love to laugh and forgot how much I had loved it as I did not laugh much at my lowest point at over 350 pounds. I laugh at all of the little things that amuse me during the day and enjoy every minute of it.

So, now you know a little bit about why I am thrilled. Why did I use the word cautiously? It is very simple to me. As happy as I am today and at this point in my life, I know it could all go away in very short order if I revert to my old unhealthy habits. I do not fool myself into thinking I have mastered this thing called life and this journey I am on. 24 months of good habits just do not outweigh 32 years of adult bad habits on the scales of life. That is as simple as I can put it. I need to be vigilant if I want this great feeling I have now, want tomorrow, and look forward to for the rest of my life.

One year of losing the weight and one year of managing my body and weight under my size 34" belt. Man that sounds SO MUCH better than squeezing my body and troubles under that 54" belt.

Note to ME and YOU:   LIVE, LOVE, LOSE, LAUGH every day!

PS I thank God, my family, and friends that support me and supported me through the bad times and through my journey. I definitely thank my wife, Polly, for putting up with the bad unhealthy part of my journey for so long. I hope and pray I can be the best person I can be to love and support her.

TheFatGuy 

I was at Camp Kinard last weekend helping paint all of the bunk beds in the 6 cabins there. Camp Kinard is where Camp Kemo is held for a week each summer. The counselors from Camp Kemo have been volunteering for several years to help transform Cap Kinard with various projects. This happened for two reasons.

One reason is the counselors from Camp Kemo are a very special group and are a big reason this will be my 25th year at Camp in June.  These people are individuals that give freely of themselves and ask for nothing in return. I am proud to call ALL of them friends!

The second reason is Larry Hamrick, the Director of Camp Kinard. Larry has been at Kinard for 5 years and has done an overhaul of the grounds and facilities. He has systematically worked to gain more volunteers and more funding to make HIS camp a special place. Things have not always gone his way, but you will never see that effect his positive attitude or thwart his determination to keep move forward and improving. He is quite simply, a great guy!

In seeing Larry again this past week, I thought about his overhaul and how I mirrored my personal overhaul to what he has done. His effort is a great example for me. His attitude is what I work to attain each day by starting my day with a HAW  check (Honesty, Attitude, Water). I focus on choosing a positive attitude each day so I can make good life and journey choices. As Larry, things do not always go perfectly for me, but I always keep moving forward. I always look to learn and grow on my journey of health and fitness.

My attitude and determination come from associating with people like Larry Hamrick. His attitude and determination help me to understand how important these two intangibles are to my journey. I would not have been successful losing 150 pounds and getting my life on track if it were not for shining examples like Larry Hamrick and so many others in my life! I THANK YOU ALL!

Note to ME and YOU: Associate and Learn from people that will show you the way…………….. if you pay attention to their good life habits!

TheFatGuy 

Life expectancy, in its simplest form means, the number of years that an individual is expected to live as determined by statistics. I used a standard life expectancy calculator online recently and was astounded by what I found.

In less than two years I have gained 33 years of life expectancy! I took all of my stats from February of 2009 and compared them to my present stats. At over 350 pounds I had a little over ten years left in my life and my life expectancy number was 65. Presently, I am hovering between 218-221 and in the best physical shape of my life. Currently I am projected to have 43 years of life expectancy left in my tank! My life expectancy is now 98 years old! By changing my lifestyle in 2009 I have managed to add 33 years to my life expectancy. Will this be a good enough reason to stay on my journey!?

It should be a good enough reason to take care of ME! Within this new life expectancy number I expect to live a quality life. A life that will lead to health and happiness. It is up to ME to design my happiness and continue my journey of health and fitness. It is up to me to continue to reinforce the healthy habits I have established over the past 23 1/2 months and distance myself from the unhealthy habits I developed over the previous 32 years of my adult life.

I now firmly believe and know I can control much of my own destiny. I can do this with God's continued guidance and my belief that reflecting on HAW (Honesty- Attitude- Water) each morning will reinforce the positive habits and help shape the path for a healthier happier destiny.

Oh, one other thing that helps me through each day is the first line of The Serenity Prayer:

God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.

Note to ME and YOU: Have the Courage to Change the Things I Can!

TheFatGuy

I love the big arm chairs in the corner of my favorite haunt, yes my office, Starbucks. I was at my office last week and a woman asked if the seat next to me was taken. I said, "No, but thanks for asking." She sat down in the chair next to me, quickly turned toward me, and questioned, " Teacher or Student?" I know I looked surprised at first.

Then my surprise turned to amusement. I said, "I am neither and both!" She just smiled. She went on to let me know she had spotted my backpack and saw me working hard on my laptop and thought I was either a teacher or a student.  We had a short conversation about her daughter off at college, her use of SMART phones, and her next stop, a computer at the library.

As she left for the library, I wished her a good day and wrote on a note, Teacher or Student? This question not only amused me, it made me think about my life and how these words applied to my journey. Aren't we all part teacher and part student? I know I am, and most people I have encountered in life are a little of both.

I have always said that I learn from everyone around me. My wife questioned this one time when I worked for someone she did not particularly like (and that is putting it mildly). I told her that I not only learn what to do, but what not to do! I pay attention to what works and doesn't work for those around me. I try to apply these observations to what I do. Sometimes I learn quickly and others, well it took me a while to figure out my health and fitness journey.  I learn from the kids at Camp Kemo and Lasting Impressions, the friends in my life, my brothers, parents, and thankfully, my wife Polly. Her "Fire Story" was a huge lesson learned.

Based on my observations, this means we are all teachers. We should be aware we are teaching good and bad lessons every day. People are paying attention to us and are learning from our actions. The people I am most aware of are the children and teenagers in my life. My nieces, nephews, and the kids I volunteer with all learn from me and the other adults in their life. Kids are like sponges when it comes to picking up bad and good habits from the adults in their lives.

Note to ME and YOU:  1. You are never too old or too smart to learn! 2. Pass on your BEST HEALTHIEST habits to the kids in your life!

Learning something new every day,

TheFatGuy 

My update on New Year's Resolutions is a mixed bag of news.

• Get down to 210 from 225 by February 18th- I was up and down during the month and ended at 221.6 lbs. I did maintain and lose weight on a weekend in Pickens, which is a first for me!
• Fit in 32" Jeans by March 2, 2011- My workouts have been pretty good, my weight will be a key here.
• Logging Daily to at least Camp Kemo in June- I continue to log with a diligently with two days of our teen LI Retreat being the only non-log days
• Organize rooms/car- I worked on my car, office/back room, and front hall. I did OK, but not great!
• Have 3rd draft of my book done by January 21st- I have 7 1/2 Chapters sent to a good friend of mine with the others in progress.
• Work with Polly to achieve our Resolutions-We have talked about how we are doing with things and the barriers to our goals. Polly has done well with her weight loss.

So what happened in January? Life happened! My mom's sister died, the Youth Marathon week took a complete chunk out of January with last minute school and individual requests/changes, I had work done for two crowns, Polly and I dealt with Hospice changes for her parents the last weekend of January, and well, life happened.

While my business mind tells me I missed deadlines, it also tells me I made progress under 'unusual' circumstances. None of my items are dead in the water and I continue to move forward on all of them. Polly and I have both made progress on our resolutions under far from ideal conditions. This is not only good news, but great news!

Why? In the past, one or both of us would have forgotten and/or shelved some or all of our resolutions by now. Writing our resolutions down and keeping check on ourselves has helped us to continue the journey and continue to move in the right direction. We will review our present status tonight and adjust, as needed. We will continue to 'face in the direction' we chose in early January.

Note to ME and YOU: Keep moving in the direction YOU choose and build each step on the positive energy found in the last step!

TheFatGuy

PS: As I wrote this a good friend tweeted this message> "An important attribute in successful people is their impatience with negative thinking and negative acting people." -Colin Powell

THANKS, ANDY! 

Consequence-  the effect, result, or outcome of something occurring earlier: His obesity was the consequence of overeating. (Pictured is Me> a 350 pound health crisis in May 2008!)

As previously blogged, my parents had many expectations for my brothers and me with the overall expectation that we would be good people. Being a good person means developing good behavior. My parents would talk to us about how we should 'behave' and expected us to 'behave' accordingly. We were also introduced to 'consequences' for poor behavior at an early age. We were always given positive reinforcement, but came to understand there were consequences to poor behavior. At early ages we might have been spanked or shown the 'Navy belt'. Then we were introduced to a severe talking to, restrictions and added chores. Out of all these, the severe talking to always seemed to be the worst. I wanted to behave well, but that was not always the case. Even the best Catholic Altar boy steps 'out of bounds' once in awhile. 

Then as life progressed  I came to understand other consequences to poor behavior. If you pay a bill late, you get a late fee. If you make a mistake at work, you get a written warning or some discipline. If you speed you lose points on your license and pay a fine. There are always consequences to poor personal behavior. I think many people today do not take responsibility for their actions and the consequences that come with them. It is always someone else's fault or some past occurrence caused their present 'poor behavior'. 

My own obesity is a case in point. I developed very poor eating and health habits over 32 years of adulthood. I blamed this behavior (external stress, a need to focus on other issues, etc.) on many things while all the time knowing I controlled my behavior. The consequences that came with this behavior became staggering over the years. Where was my 'severe talking to'? I did not see any immediate consequences to this behavior when it started but at the end of the 32nd year the consequences were right in front of me in a staggering pile. 

The consequences included major health issues while taking 7 different medicines to keep them in check. Not being able to fit into chairs, seats, clothes, my own skin, and sometimes society. It created barriers to relationships, especially with my wonderful wife. When I look back the list can be overwhelming. Somehow I had let the consequences build up over the years. I had not gotten 'my severe talking to'. I had developed and ability to ignore them. As a child I learned to deal with the consequences of poor behavior and move on. The consequences were immediate and understood. As an adult, I had developed a mechanism to focus on certain things and ignore poor consequences in other areas. I even allowed them to build up to unmanageable piles. 

I now understand my consequences to poor behavior in a much better way. Poor behavior I exhibit dramatically impacts me and often the people I love. My struggles with obesity and the consequences of my behavior that lead to my obesity, have caused me to assess all areas of my life and how I treat ME and others. As I wake up each morning, I not only look at the behavior I used toward my own fitness and health goals the day before, I look at my overall behavior toward Me and others. I will not let my stack of consequences develop over time in any area of my life. There is a definite danger in allowing them to build up. 

Note to ME and YOU: I will give ME a 'severe talking to' daily, if needed! No consequence piles allowed! 

Loving Life and Trying to Behave,

TheFatGuy

Note: I will do a resolution checkup blog in two days with a follow up blog called "Teacher or Student?" 

On May 16, 2009 I wrote about a "Lasting Impressions" Retreat I was on in North Carolina. I weighed just over 300 pounds at the time. I was about 2 1/2 months into my journey and feeling better about my health and fitness.  I wrote:

Lasting Impressions is a teen support group for teens with cancer in Columbia, SC. My sister-in-law, Sue, introduced me to this group in 1992.  I love volunteering with LI because the teens have taught me so much about life over the years………….The teenagers I am with are all overcoming cancer. When I see what they have overcome and how they handle life, I know that a 52 (almost 53) year old Fat Guy can handle dedicating himself to living a healthier, fitter, trimmer life. As you can tell, these teens definitely leave a Lasting Impression on me. Life is Good, if you know where to look!

Well,  I just had another great weekend with this group in Charleston. I had a fit and fun time while eating like a teen for two days! We toured the Market area in Charleston, ate at Bubba Gumps and Mellow Mushroom, and attended an exciting Stingrays game.

This weekend made me reflect on my journey and what Lasting Impressions (L I) and Camp Kemo have meant to my life over the years. During the last 25 years, I have used my week at Camp and weekends with the LI Teens as time to recharge my engines and sort of cleanse myself. During all of my years as a workaholic and through my struggles with obesity/health issues, I have used Camp and LI as a way to enable me to continue my bad habits and poor behavior toward myself. The negative energy would creep in  for a while, I would work to 'make it' to Camp or a retreat weekend, and then Infuse some positive energy into 'me' by immersing myself in Camp or a LI retreat. In a way it is good I had this in my life to make it to my turning point, to make it to the journey I need and want to be on now. In another way, it saddens me that I 'needed' Camp and LI to make it through to my journey, to make it through my poor behavior toward me.

What caused my reflection and mini-epiphany? I had such a great time this weekend!  It felt better than any other retreat. Why? The group of teens, staff, and volunteers were great, as always. We had a lot of fun and quality time together, but I/we have had that before.  I realized the major difference was me. I came into this retreat happy with me and free of the burdens of obesity and being a workaholic. I did not 'need' the retreat to recover or recharge. I was able to be part of the retreat in a different way. My energy level and outlook are at a positive place. I am operating at a higher more positive level.  I no longer need it to bring me back to positive, but to build on the positive that already exists!

Note to ME and YOU: Building on the positive is much easier and more satisfying than working to get back to positive.

Living! Loving! Losing! Laughing!

TheFatGuy

PS I will do my next blog on "Consequences" as promised last week. I had to do this blog on LI!