Wednesday night Polly and I celebrated our 26th Wedding Anniversary! She has been the love of my life and supported me in everything I have done. She definitely married me for better or worse, just not sure if she knew that meant Through Thick and not so Thin.
Like all relationships we have had our ups and downs. A lot more UPS than downs. The one big down that became very clear in 2009 was my weight. With all of the problems I created for ME, I did not realize how all of MY health issues and weight effected Polly. She was worried, concerned, and scared. She had watched my weight go up and down for almost 24 years and then saw me put on 70 straight pounds between 2005-2008. At 360 pounds I had a wealth of health issues, with 7 different medications, and a CPAP machine. Polly just wanted me to take care of ME and I could not hear her. I could not throw the switch to talk about my weight, to talk about my issues, to change my lifestyle, to change my life habits, or to acknowledge I HAD A PROBLEM! This was all very tough on her.
I could tell Polly was frustrated and I felt some concerned 'vibes' from her, especially in February 2009. I now know she was thinking "Just how big are you going to get!" She was worried there was no end to my weight gain, to my growing health problems, and was concerned she would be taking care of me as a shell of a person if (when) I had a stroke or heart attack.
Thankfully, Polly told me the 'Fire Story' that was the catalyst for ME to change my life. I am thankful to her for supporting me even Through Thick and not so Thin times. I do not know if I could have watched ME do what I did to myself. I do not know if I could have dealt with the anguish of watching someone I love travel SO far down a path of destruction. Polly had to travel that tough road with ME and I will always be grateful to her for that love and support.
So, one of my anniversary gifts to Polly is a very healthy husband that may stress her out about some things but not his health and weight! I continue to travel my journey of health and wellness for ME so that I can be in a position to properly support the people I love.
Note to ME and YOU: Take care of YOU, so that YOU can love and support the ones you love (and not worry them)!