Polly and TheFatGuy talked for a while on the front porch over the weekend. It is something we try to do often, but sometimes not often enough. It helps me tremendously to talk through things with her. My wife is a good listener and knows the right encouragement to give me at the right time. The other night we discussed the struggles I had last year with my weight and how 'I let things happen'. Polly said, "you need to write about it". So here goes!
I went into 2011 knowing we would be dealing with the death of Polly's dad and that we would continue to travel back and forth to the upstate to help take care of him and her mom. I knew with this and other commitments our schedules would be hectic and not as structured as we might like. So I went into the year telling myself that a little weight would be OK because I was working to build and tone muscle. Sounds innocent enough. I would gain the weight in muscle. As the year went on I became a little lax about the good habits I had established and some old, yo-yo, habits crept into my routine.
The good part about keeping MY log is I can look back and get a pretty clear picture of my yo-yo and self deception! When Polly's dad passed away the end of March I 'allowed' myself to go off log. I went pretty far off log and went from about 220 to 227 in a week. Not good but I would work to manage it. I wrestled with the upper 220s from April till my week at Camp Kemo starting June 11th. I had dropped to the lower to mid 220s knowing Camp would be an eat fest! I got as high as the mid 230s during that week.
I was able to bring my weight back to, what I thought, was a reasonable range in the mid to upper 220s. BUT, I knew that 230 was more than a danger area for TheFatGuy. With various reunions and events I would climb into the 230s then come back just below that line in the sand. Actually, I should have put the line in concrete since I kept crossing it, moving it, and erasing it!
Well, as the line moved, my thinking got to stinking again. I did not log as diligently, sugar became a huge issue, and I was making way to many excuses to ME for going down this path. Sometime during the later part of 2011 I started viewing 240 pounds as the 'line in the sand'. What the hell was I thinking? Really, 240 pounds! I thought to myself that I was still in pretty good physical shape with MY workouts. I starting realizing sugar was a huge issue around Halloween, but instead of cutting it out, I kept eating it with the thought I would stop eating sugar in 2012. I was procrastinating. I was pushing 'everything down the road' (sounds like our politicians and country). I started setting targets I would not reach rather than goals I would reach. And I did cross 240 at the end of 2011. Not a shocker given the pattern.
The bottom line (you know I always go to the bottom line) is I allowed 32 years of adult bad habits to creep in and try to overthrow a couple of years of good habits. Fortunately, I did keep the log, I did keep blogging, I did keep challenging myself with exercise, and I did keep FACING THE RIGHT DIRECTION!
Reviewing the year with Polly and setting some hard goals for 2012 have helped TheFatGuy tremendously. 2011 has taught ME about my habits, good and bad, and I have learned a lot about taking care of ME. Most importantly, I know I can control and manage MY weight and fitness. I know I do not have to 'let things happen'. I am facing the right direction and have a firm grip on the wheel.
Note to ME and YOU: Keep Facing the right direction on your Journey. Reach for your goals and not for that the 'line in the sand' you don't want to cross!
PS 223.8 today and feeling oh so Great! 210 is within view.