Stinking Thinking!

I took my father-in-law, Garvin, to what might be his last AA meeting Thursday night. Garvin has not had a drink of alcohol in over 28 years and I have gone 26 years 3 months and 9 days without a drink and I have not had one today! We went to the Pickens Hillbilly AA group. A small group that was all guys that night. There was a total of 6 of us, including Garvin and me. I would never reveal the identity of anyone in AA, but I have no problem letting people know I am a grateful recovering alcoholic. I hit what I consider a 'high bottom' on alcohol with my lone DUI on March 31, 1984. The meeting made me think a lot about my life and the lives of those around me. I have struggled with my own addictions and watched many a friend and coworker deal with their demons. Addiction to anything can become very ugly and very destructive. I should know, as I have dealt with my share of issues with alcohol, cigarettes, eating, and more. The addiction consumes your life and sucks the positive energy right out of you. Of the many lessons I learned from AA the one that sticks out at this time is the phrase 'stinking thinking'. It is easy for me to start the cycle of 'stinking thinking' and build my attitude and decisions based on that negative process. I consider stinking thinking dwelling on the negatives and creating more problems than I have by staying in a negative mindset. I have to look in the mirror every morning and remind myself to take an honest look at where I am, where I have been, and where I am going. I have to look at the things I have not done well and decide how to deal with them. I have to look at all of the good things or blessings in my life, be thankful for them and build my attitude on those blessings and the good in my life. I also try to remember the Serenity Prayer which in part says, 'God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.' This helps me to deal with the tough stuff! I continue to be thankful for God, family, friends, and all of the good things in my life. I am extremely thankful I have found my journey and have learned so much about me and life in the last 16 months. Stinking Thinking can creep in at anytime. I know that I can overcome it when I look at all of the blessings and good things in my life! Note to YOU and ME: Don't let the 'stinking thinking' control your life. Build your day and life around the good things and blessings! Living, Loving, Losing, Laughing! The 'Grateful' 'Recovering' Fat Guy!

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4 thoughts on “Stinking Thinking!

  1. Mike,
    This was awesome! I didn’t know that about you. I knew you didn’t drink but I didn’t know the story about it. “Stinking Thinking” is something I know we all have done. I consider myself a pretty positive person but sometimes Stinking Thinking can creep in. Thanks for the post because now I have another against “Stinking Thinking”! Take care and I will repost on Twitter!

    • I need help.

      My husband is an alcoholic. He has not been drinking since Nov 29 2010, but had a relapse in January of this year 2011. He has not drank now for over a month. He has not been going for any treatment or to any meetings. He believes now that he is not drinking all is good. He said he went to AA as part of a court ordered required class years ago before we were together. It is unlikely he was exercising a ‘no drinking’ policy at the time unless he was in jail during the class. (That does not necessarily mean no drinking either, he told me it is possible to make an alcoholic substance while in jail)

      We are at the point of breaking up due to ‘stinking thinking’ overloading my ability to function. His negative, complaining, controlling, and excessive attention behaviors has been more than I can handle. We went to marriage counseling on Wednesday of last week and the counseling said it was a crisis situation and we needed to stay in separate housing for the time being. After leaving he talked me into staying at the house. I had told the counselor and my husband I was at my breaking point. Thursday evening was not a good day for me; I ended up leaving the house to keep my sanity. I have not returned to the house and have been staying at a motel. My husband says he does not need treatment since he is no longer drinking. He has planned to leave and go back out of state to where his family lives. He does not want to leave, but believes he has no other choice since there is no place for him to stay here other than the house we both live in.

      Can you offer any helpful suggestions or resources? I told him about the Salvation Army treatment center, but he does not believe he needs this help since he is not currently drinking.

      Please respond.

  2. My husband is an alcoholic. He has not been drinking since Nov 29, but had a relapse in January of this year 2011. He has not been going for any treatment or to any meetings. He believes now that he is not drinking all is good. He said he went to AA as part of a court ordered required class years ago before we were together. It is unlikely he was exercising a ‘no drinking’ policy at the time unless he was in jail during the class. (That does not necessarily mean no drinking either, he told me it is possible to make an alcoholic substance while in jail)

    We are at the point of breaking up due to ‘stinking thinking’ overloading my ability to function. His negative, complaining, controlling, and excessive attention behaviors has been more than I can handle. We went to marriage counseling on Wednesday of last week and the counseling said it was a crisis situation and we needed to stay in separate housing for the time being. After leaving he talked me into staying at the house. I had told the counselor and my husband I was at my breaking point. Thursday evening was not a good day for me; I ended up leaving the house to keep my sanity. I have not returned to the house and have been staying at a motel. My husband says he does not need treatment since he is no longer drinking. He has planned to leave and go back out of state to where his family lives. He does not want to leave, but believes he has no other choice since there is no place for him to stay here other than the house we both live in.

    Can you offer any helpful suggestions or resources? I told him about the Salvation Army treatment center, but he does not believe he needs this help since he is not currently drinking.

    Please respond.

    • Hey, You need to make sure you are taking care of YOU! You should go to Al Anon to meet others like you and get some advice from them. Check out http://www.al-anon-sc.org/Find_A_Meeting.html     .  

      Tough love is something that is hard to do. I was fortunate to reach my bottom with alcohol in 1984. Unfortunately, some people never reach their bottom and that is hard to watch and accept. Make sure you have the tools to help if YOU can. Take care of yourself so you can best deal with this situation. Make sure you have family, church, and/or Al Anon to help you have the best info and base to try to help your husband.

       

      Good Luck!

      TheFatGuy