This Pledge was born out of my first entry into MY FatGuyDiary spreadsheet on the first day of MY journey on March 2, 2009. The entry read:
|Starting my weight loss program today. ………… …….. I need to lose weight for my health and quality of life. I do not know the final destination, but I do know I need to start the journey! I want and need to be more positive about myself and my future even with the things that are happening in the world and the economy. I need to take care of me so I can best help my family and community.|
The key words are bolded in this statement. It is and always has been MY journey. Not a point A to point B destination. I constantly remind myself of this fact. I also voice this with anyone I talk to and in TheFatGuy’s presentations and talks. It is always about ‘the journey to ME’. I work to learn and grow every day on MY journey.
Back to TheFatGuy Pledge. I needed to imprint this on MY mind. I had to reinforce this statement for a number of reasons.
First, pre-journey I was really good at helping everyone else around me. I was great at promoting other people, other organizations, and other’s initiatives. I could always help fix anything. People would ask ME to do something and I would take it on, never wanting to disappoint, never wanting to say NO. I did this over and over again to MY OWN detriment. This ‘habit’ put ME in the situation of going ALL-IN for 3 1/2 years to work to save a Youth Serving Organization that was near and dear to my heart. I left a wonderful career of over 28 years at the SC Port Authority to pursue a passion of helping kids do well in life, to help ‘at risk’ youth. The Boys & Girls Clubs of the Trident Area was worth saving for the multitude of kids that needed it. I left my Port career to become executive director of the organization in January 2005.
Polly, my wife, and I discussed the ALL-IN approach as I/We made the decision to change careers and our life. I did not see ALL-IN as meaning 3 1/2 years of over 70 hour weeks. I did not see ALL-IN as going from 290 to 360 pounds. I did not see ALL-IN as not ever taking care of ME. I was working to ‘Fix’ everything on ALL fronts with the organization. I was working to rebuild it from the ground up while dealing with inherited scandal and debt. This is the short version!
Anyway, by June 2008 I had worked so hard on this one thing (with many parts), that I lost sight of taking care of ME and taking care of the closest relationships in MY life. My thinking became warped as I thought all of my time and focus HAD to go to the organization. That if I took anytime for ME or anyone else in MY life, I would be taking away from ‘Fixing’ the organization. The workaholic in ME was in overdrive and I was not finding MY way out of it.
As I left the organization in June 2008 I was a shell of who I wanted to be. I felt so bad and so unhealthy, I could not see may toward anything truly positive. I had served thousands of children over 3 1/2 years and was very happy about that fact. But, I did not ever truly get the organization to the point to ‘save it’. I really miss the kids, but I am really happy I found my journey and ability to help kids in a different way.
A second reason for having TheFatGuy pledge is the result of evaluating MY journey in 2011. As ‘life happened’ in 2011 I let myself slip a little. 32 years of adult bad habits starting to creep in and overtake less than 2 years of healthier happier habits. As Polly and I dealt with the passing of her dad, Garvin in March 2011, I started to allow bad habits to resurface. Life happened and TheFatGuy did not do the greatest job keeping himself on track.
Garvin’s passing hit ME harder than I thought and I did not manage MY journey as well during the year because of it. By November 2011 I allowed TheFatGuy to get way ‘out of bounds’ because I knew I was going to reset for the New Year. Just a good dose of that ‘stinking thinking’ creeping in again. I went from the low 220s to the low 230s to 244.4 on January 1, 2012.
Nuts, nuts, nuts, I was just plain nuts!
I am not saying that I should not have loved and grieved the loss of my father-in-law. I am not saying I should not be pleased with trying to save a non-profit serving at risk youth. I am not saying I should not be happy with all of the kids I served and helped.
I am saying I want to be ‘the best’ ME for all of the people in my life. I am saying it is a healthy thing to want to take care of ME. I am telling myself it is OK, it is good to make sure I am running at MY best to be the best ME for the people in MY life.
Hence TheFatGuy Pledge: I pledge to take care of ME so I can be the Best ME for my family, friends, and community!
I want to be focused and passionate about ‘taking care of ME’. This pledge helps ME with that focus and passion.
Note to ME and YOU: Take the pledge to take care of YOU!! YOU will be a better YOU for everyone in your life.
TheFatGuy (213.2 today! Down 31.2 from 1/1/2012)