TheFatGuy has had several conversations in the last 24 hours that brought him back to that fat guy, TheFatGuy, of February 2009. He was 360 pounds of a walking time bomb. With 7 different medications and numerous health issues, he was Hopeless! TheFatGuy saw no hope that he would EVER turn the tide on his ever growing weight, health problems, and how bad he felt. He had dug his hole and was prepared to accept the fact that he would NEVER climb out of it.
The stories TheFatGuy has heard over the last 24 hours hit very close to home. He will not identify individuals but will give you an overview of the stories he was told about people that had friends that were, let's say, in trouble. That trouble all radiated out from being obese and not being able to deal with it, not knowing how to deal with it, and ultimately, accepting the weight! The problems included, several heart attacks, depression, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, anxiety, diabetes, and the list goes on. One thing that was a theme through each story was at least one very concerned friend/loved one that felt helpless, a person in what appeared to be a helpless hopeless situation, and a desperation to find an answer to help a friend/loved one.
The HOPELESS feeling does not belong to just the person with the weight and health issues. It belongs to loved ones and friends. Polly, TheFatGuy's loving wife, will attest to that fact. She felt HOPELESS and scared as TheFatGuy struggled with life. She watched as TheFatGuy dug his hole so deep he had no obvious ladder or rope to climb out of it. As hard as she tried she could not find a way to help TheFatGuy. She would not enable his behavior but she could not seem to do anything to really get him to help himself. THANK GOD she relayed 'The Fire Story' to TheFatGuy . The story that changed his life. The rope that he used to climb out of his hole.
TheFatGuy is often asked 'how do I help someone out of this seemingly hopeless situation?' It is a tough question with no easy answer. Some people would have you think it is easy, TheFatGuy knows different. TheFatGuy tries to give some direction/advice:
- The person needs to know they need to start the journey for themselves. Tell them The Fire Story. They need to know that they have to help themselves first so they can be around to help others they love and want in their lives.
- Do not enable their behavior and try to be there when the person is ready to change. You may become a valuable support system when they are ready to start their journey.
- Let them know you know a 56 year old guy that turned his life around. Give them the website, fatguydiary.com , to prove it to them. He is healthier and fitter now than in his 20s.
- Offer to go out on some healthy outings with the person. A nice walk/hike, dance, yoga, or other healthy activity. You might start steering the ship in the right direction.
- Even if the person seems to have given up on themselves, try to have the strength not to give up on them (pray for it). This is a tough one. Polly never gave up in TheFatGuy, even though it became very maddening for her. TheFatGuy is a lucky man.
- When starting, encourage the person to apply KISS. When it comes to the journey, Keep It Simple. Start the journey and find the simplest path to take. It is a hard journey, so it needs to be simple
TheFatGuy cannot promise that any of this will work, but he hopes it helps. He was able to overcome his HOPELESS state and he knows others can do the same.
Note to ME and YOU: Do not enable. Do not give up. Pray for strength
TheFatGuy TheFitGuy TheBEAST